Importance of Humor
They say laughter is the best medicine for any one of us, and it is so true when we read or hear funny quotes or funny jokes. I thought of sharing some of the best lawyer jokes humor I have read with you for either small chuckle or big burst of life. Why lawyer jokes? law and lawyer seemed to be dreaded word for most of us. I recently went to lawyer with my friend and it was stressful to say the least, and I thought why not balance it with some of the best lawyer jokes to smile with. You do not have to visit lawyer recently to enjoy this. Hope all of us can enjoy lawyer jokes and its humor without needing the services of any attorneys.
More Q and A and Humor
Question:What do you call parachuting lawyers?
Answer:Skeet.
Question: What’s the difference between lawyers and vampire bats?
Answer: One’s a bloodsucking parasite and the other is a mouse-like creature with wings!
Question:What’s the difference between lawyers and vultures?
Answer:Vultures can’t take their wing tips off.
Question: What’s the difference between female prosecutors and terrorists?
Answer: You can negotiate with terrorists.
Question:What’s the difference between a porcupine and an ambulance chasing BMW carrying three lawyers?
Answer: A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
Question:How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Fifty-Four — Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty eight to bill for professional services.
Question: What separates witnesses from the lowest form of life on earth?
Answer: The partitions around the witness stand.
Question: What do lawyers use for birth control?
Answer: Their personalities.
Question:What’s the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
Answer: A boxing referee doesn’t get paid more for a longer fight.
Question:Why should you not run over a lawyer on a bicycle?
Answer: It might be your bicycle.
Question:What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t chase ambulances?
Answer:Retired.
Question:What’s the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
Answer: You cry when you cut up an onion.
Question:What does “NFL football player, NBA basketball player, preacher, lawyer” represent?
Answer:pro’s and con’s
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Lawyer Jokes
Old Man, Priest, Doctor and Lawyer:
There was this old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take all his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. The Old man said: “Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me.”
At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin.Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed that he had only put $20,000 into the envelope because he needed $10,000 for a new baptistery.
Doctor said “Well, since we’re confiding in each other, I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000.”
The lawyer was aghast and said. “I’m ashamed of both of you, I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000.”
Image source: 2013 calendar