If you ask anyone out of USA about “Black Friday Shopping” and most people will not know this phenomenon or understand its frenzy. Black Friday is day after US Thanksgiving as one of the biggest shopping day. Now, they are starting similar trend in Canada, Australia and UK with little success so far. Black Friday usually means that shops which were in “red” (negative profit) will turn accounting from red to black (meaning profit).
Usually Friday after Thanksgiving is one of the big shopping day, where people actually get up really early like 4AM to stand in line to buy things at supposedly huge discount. You can find out more about history of Black Friday in Wikipedia . As this was not enough, many stores are now getting open on 12 midnight on Thursday night, so people can shop earlier. Some stores actually have been open on Thursday Thanksgiving Holiday afternoon. I think the original meaning of Thanksgiving is lost and now it has became a shopping day instead. True meaning of holiday should be friends and family came together to share a meals and harvest together, now many people come together with newspapers Ads and plan how to tackle and make most out of the shopping rush.
About 5-6 years ago, we decided to not give usual Christmas gifts for adults in traditional sense, we still share meals, experience and homemade gifts. We still give present to kids thing they NEED , and some they Want, such as jackets, socks, books and one toy! I am not sure how others in our family members feel still about it, as they still occasionally do traditional gift giving which is noble thought. However, the huge pressure has been off my mind, not having to shop and buy things from everyone in your list to spouse, kids, uncle, aunts, grandparents, neighbors, co-workers, boss, mailman and so on.
See: How to Simplify Giving During Holidays
10 Things to Do Instead of Shopping on Black Friday
While, I am not saying not to appreciate the people in our life someway, but there are better ways to appreciate them. Gifts from heart are always much sweeter than some cheap electronics things that people will not even remember after 4 months after Christmas season.
Check out some out articles from Heart and Mind to make your heart filled instead of stuff;
10 ways to help someone during bad economy
20 ways to be Romantic for Free (or cheap)
How to have Stress Free Thanksgiving
Gifts from heart during Holidays
So what we did during this Holiday?
We had family over for meal, we saw some DVDs and played with kids, met visiting relatives, talked to family who are in other part of countries, relaxed. We stayed away from walmart and any shopping area. We went to bookstore and read books! We shared a meal with a neighbor!
We looked at the newspapers filled with bargains and decided we did not NEED any of these things. Maybe not very traditional but it was very meaningful to me.
So, what is wrong with saving money and giving gifts to loved ones?
No, there is nothing wrong. Actually I truly think people who are shopping at 3 AM and 4 AM to buy things for themselves and other are actually have best interest at heart and are well meaning people. I know as my best friend and my younger brother is pro at black Friday shopping and gets many great deals for everyone he knows. I am sure if you are shopping you do that too. Average American spends about $689 on Christmas gifts, that is huge. One does not have to go broke while giving gifts!
However, there is secret I want to share with you all, that is your loved ones will be happy with simplest things, like spending time, listening to them, giving things they truly need, such as groceries, clothes, educational books, jackets. Most of all many of us need simple appreciation from heart more than anything. Not a flattery but heartfelt appreciation.
People may like shiny things like diamonds, electronic gadgets, toys and other shiny objects but that joy is not as long lasting as things we get it from heart. I can see my 5 year old, who gets so excited when he gets Super hero toys (things he is into right now) but he simply as happy drawing super heroes and talking about them and creating stories with us.
I want to share a new video for Story of Electronics! by the creator of Story of Stuff. It is little over 7 minutes and worth watching once! Check it out.
Having meaningful and happy living
Regardless of where you live, how you choose to shop or not, how you celebrate any holidays regardless of your religion, enjoy and cherish the time spent with your friends and family. Share meals, give experience gifts and spend time with each other, listening to each other.
Further reading;
Reconnect with people and community around you
8 ways to live happy and content life
Zengirl
Hi Preeti,
This is precisely why Thanksgiving is my favorite of all the holidays. It is simply about giving thanks and appreciating the many blessings in our lives. The simple act of being together in the spirit of love and harmony is the greatest gift. You offer some wise advice here. I too would like to see the Christmas holiday emphasize those same values over the consumerism that tends to take over.
Preeti,
I so agree with you. We can live a very satisfying life without a lot of stuff. I personally do not do the whole Black Friday thing, but I don’t begrudge people that do. Our family stopped buying presents for one another years ago. It was just too expensive and overwhelming. We give to the kids only. It’s much more fun that way than buying things for one another no one really needs. Thanks for being such a wonderful “voice of reason!”
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Hi Preeti,
I like Thanksgiving because it is a time to show gratitude and simply enjoy family and friends without all the stress of gift giving.
I have stopped buying gifts for Christmas…I tend to give gifts throughout the year. If I have something to give someone, I don’t wait until Christmas day. I think this time of year is driven by commercialism. It feels good not to be stressed out about buying people gifts. I do believe time spent with others and wonderful meals mean more than any material gift. Money can’t buy that!
Thanks for sharing!
Take care,
Evelyn
I don’t always comment on your posts, but I subscribe to your emails and have to tell you that I *ALWAYS* find your posts inspiring! This year, once again, I spent a small fortune on Christmas for my 4 kids. *blush* Next year $$ will be tighter and things are gonna be changing! Thanks for your wonderful & inspiring posts!! 🙂
Hi Preeti,
Ah shopping. I am familiar with shopping madness since it happens regularly here in Singapore with all the sales. Waking up super early just to queue and plough through the departmental stores as soon as they open for big sales are fairly common. Of course all the festive days are commercialized so that is loads of shopping and as you say, the original meaning of the holidays and festivals are lost in the mad rush.
I agree with you. Gifts from the heart are always more meaningful than gifts bought for the sake of giving. At the end of the day it is the little things like listening and being there for your loved ones that really matter. Gifts are merely a distraction and should not replace the little things that count.
Thank you for sharing this post! 😀
I absolutely agree.
I hate the commercialzing “creep” that is slowly making people think they need to, “buy buy buy” for Christmas. Christmas and thanksgiving are both, in my mind, days that are about giving and family more than crass commercialism.
I am all for giving presents, but I feel they should be more “tokens” that really mean something rather than simply being able to have a big wallet and spending until it hurts.
Steve,
Giving each other gifts is very good idea, but sake of just giving it and getting in to debt because of it, would not be good. And that is what many Americans are getting in to and most expensive gifts people buy is for themselves such as big screen TV and so on. Holidays are getting too commercial for my taste.
Irving,
Yes, Singapore has many shopping temptation. I remember when I visited there last time, there was this huge mall (I forget the name) where you can buy anything to everything under one roof! Gift giving is good as long people do it in limit. Rushing, pushing that happens during black Friday here in US is sad, last year one employee at Walmart died because of stomped of people rushing to get bargains, now that is very sad.
Carla,
You made my day by just saying it. I know it could be hard to read and comment on every blogs we like sometimes. You come when you can! I like to hear and read if my writing has good effect! I feel the same way about your writing too, you inspire me to be healthier and calm with kids. I still spend and give gifts to kids but in limit. my 5 year old, just beginning to get commercial and wants many toys he knows about now.
Evelyn,
I agree, Thanksgiving was supposed to be shared with family and friends over a great homecooked meal. Now, some people are spending time in line waiting for shop instead of enjoying.. They may be getting good deals, but they are missing out on true meaning and celebration of holiday. I stay away from mall and some store whole this December. I think you have good plan going! I like that.
Angela,
Our family still does gift giving to kids and other experiences gifts in limit. While there is nothing wrong with buying things for loved ones but it does not have to be frenzy and crazy rush to push to buy things or to buy things on credit to pay off later. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and chiming in.
Rob,
Yeah, it should be about giving thanks and being with family. Now, it has become a start of Christmas shopping instead for many. Holidays are becoming more commercial. I guess, that works, giving advice like I do, won’t make money! It is not also sustainable also.
Yeah I fully agree with you that it is sad if people have to die during festive seasons due to the greed and kiasu-ism (Kiasu is a Singaporean slang for “being afraid to lose out to others”. It is usually applied to things like shopping and even education where parents fight to get their children enrolled in the best schools).
But people will be people and they have not and will not change when the crowd is stirred into a frenzy. Better to be aware of these things and either stay aware or take measures to deal with it.
Hi Preeti,
It is really sad to see how, not only Thanksgiving, but every holiday around the year has been commercialized by the companies to make more profit. But personally I don’t blame the companies as much as the people. As you mention, it is our decision how we celebrate and what would be important to us and our loved ones. If we all stop shopping, events like Black Friday would quickly be “extinct”, so the biggest problem is to change mentality in people. Thank you for your invaluable contribution to this movement! 🙂
Raul
Hi Preeti,
Nice post. I agree with you that heart felt gifts are way better than buying things that people might forget after a few weeks. Spending time is one of the best things we do to our loved ones. Thanks for sharing
Dear Preeti,
My husband and I are very minimalist when it comes to gift giving and making a big to do during the holidays. I tend to prefer baking treats and giving those instead, as I believe most people don’t really appreciate the material possessions that are chosen for them by someone else. I also detest the practice of giving a list to family members of desired things. It takes all the fun out of it, and I think “what’s the point? Why don’t I just buy for me, and you buy for you?”
Preeti: What a great message for all of us as the height of the holiday season approaches. I think it is important that we don’t overlook the reason for the existence of holidays and take advantage of all the opportunities we have to spend real quality time with our loved ones. I think whether you give gifts or not, the most important thing is to not overlook the reason for it all and appreciate the true meaning of the holiday.
Sibyl,
Thank you. Giving gifts should be fun and given from heart, what bothers me is people will spend $700 average on Xmas gifts and generally pays off credit card debt by Apr of next year according to one news paper. Giving should not have to break your bank, simple gifts will do for most people. How do you celebrate?
Mary,
I agree, giving list to family and friends is like asking/begging for gifts. Although many times we get gifts that we generally do not care for, that about 80% return return the gift or regift it or store in back of closet doors.
Many people that is why huge TV and electronics for themselves as a gift! LOL.
Dia,
I like spending time with friends and family! I think it would be great gift! Many times we are living such a hurried life, it is nice to really sit down and talk things out with friends or family. Thanks for sharing.
Raul,
Yes, many holidays tend to be on commercial side so much that it has lost its original meaning. It is mostly about profit. Now, we all need and want stuff to live in our lives but not that much. This way we are living unsustainable life and being in debt as well. It is like lose-lose case to me.
Black Friday seemed to be working only in US, although they have trying in UK and Canada with very little success. There is huge “no shopping day” phenomenon happening so I know we’re not the only one who feels this way.
Irving,
It is sad that someone had to lose his life over silly bargain in my opinion. It is not my idea to get up at 3 am to stand in line to buy something that will be obsolete in 2 years! I rather sleep in and I do 🙂 We actually avoid mall and store (except grocery) during the month of December. It works for us. I did not know word Kiasu-ism, I think that fear is there in all of us! losing out best things to others. That is why frenzy happens.
Does Singapore have Black Friday type of thing?
Hi Preeti,
Singapore has many sales all year round and each one is pretty packed in itself. Since this is supposedly a shopping paradise with loads of malls everywhere, I suppose you could say we have mini black fridays every time there is a sale or for the festive seasons.
Irving aka the Vizier
Irving,
I can very well imagine that! Singapore is like country and corporation in one! I am quite impressed how Singapore, tiny country has emerged as top commercial hub! I always love visiting there. I love the Indian, and Chinese neighborhood there. How long have you been living there?
I’ve lived in Singapore all my life. It’s a very fast-paced society as you can tell from some of the things I mentioned in my life lessons. The good thing about Singapore is that you get to eat different types of food from different cultures. You could say it is like having the best of many worlds. And I do enjoy watching the occasional Bollywood movie. My favourites so far are Jodhaa Akbar and 3 Idiots. 😀
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Irving,
Yes, I love all variety of food and Singapore has many small moms and pops to gourmet eateries to enjoy. I have visited there twice and would like visit again. You watch bollywood movies? Me too. Yes I love 3 Idiots too and I love Jodhaa akbar! Pretty cool. You may want to check out “Main Hoona Na’.. it is funny and you might like it.
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