Life Reflections and Life Lessons

by ZenGirl // March 6, 2012 // Comments off

Many of us, look back to reflect on life. I tend to do that a lot, as I am always seeing where I am going and where I have been. Life has not been easy for many of us, new curve balls keeps coming and we have to make small adjustment along the life to keep going. Life sometimes gives us lot of lemons and does not seem fair but if we truly look at it small miracles are happening all around us, we just need to be aware of them and appreciate them.

It is often easier to see bad parts compared to good ones, as we tend to think them as either fluke or we constantly want to improve and better ourselves or our life to the best that might be never ending process. I want to say before you stop and see what is missing in the life, do make an effort to see what is working, what is going well for you. Looking in to positives of life can surely bring new perspective in life that simply is powerful and refreshing.

Life Lessons by Dalai Lama

I like reading Dalai Lama and other inspirational writers, here are some quotes by Dalai Lama and Life reflections and life lessons: Some of them are quotes from Instructions of Life by Dalai Lama, the instructions are inspirational indeed so I am sharing here.

“Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.”- Dalai Lama
“Human beings by nature want happiness and do not want suffering. With that feeling everyone tries to achieve happiness and tries to get rid of suffering, and everyone has the basic right to do this. In this way, all here are the same, whether rich or poor, educated or uneducated, Easterner or Westerner, believer or non-believer, and within believers whether Buddhist, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, and so on. Basically, from the viewpoint of real human value we are all the same.” — the Dalai Lama
“Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.” – Dalai Lama
“ Follow the three Rs:
~ Respect for self
~ Respect for others
~ Responsibility for all your actions.” : Dalai Lama
“People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.” — the Dalai Lama
“When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.” – Dalai Lama
“Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.”- Dalai Lama
“Whether one believes in a religion or not, and whether one believes in rebirth or not, there isn’t anyone who doesn’t appreciate kindness and compassion.” — the Dalai Lama

Dalai Lama : Instructions for Life Video

Life Lessons Reading List:

	And to All a Good Night (Life Lessons)
	Life’s Lessons Learned
	Finally Home: Lessons on Life from a Free-Spirited Dog
	God Never Blinks: 50 Lessons for Life’s Little Detours

My Life Lessons Learned

As I reflect on good, bad and ugly of our lives, I am trying to see ray of hope in everything and not be focusing on only negatives that makes me lose sleep over some of the silly thing. I hope you do the same, it is not about making money killing or being popular. Just being content with what I have today is something I wish I can see and cherish it.

Here are some of the life lessons I am learned and learning more now;

Money is not the main thing: Let me first say this, having enough money to buy basic necessity such as food, clothes, regular bills, shelter and medicine is VERY important. Beyond it, it is all extra. Money and things money can buy will make us happy temporarily but it is not sustainable.
Stop comparing: This has been a huge for me, I tend to measure my success and happiness (wrongly) by comparing myself to others. For example, I sometimes feel jealous of people who can write quality articles fast, or someone who has more motivation, or someone who has beautiful skin. By comparing, only person I am making unhappy is me. I have come to realize that I am not going to be queen bee all the time. Sometimes there are people who are better and that is okay with me.
Taking care of my health: When I was teen, I did not take good care of my eating and sleeping habits. I slept late, woke up late. I even ate cold pizza for breakfast and drank too much soda as I thought it was cool. I put on too much make up and wore really high heel sandals that made my feet aches even now. As I am growing mature (I think) further I am realizing how silly I was and who was I trying to impress then? I wished I had taken better care of my health but I have already started a few years ago and improving every day.
Hug people you love today: Do not wait. I had waited and gotten busy with my life and one day I lost my grandmother and soon my grandfather too and I really never got a chance to tell them what they meant to me and how much I loved them. Do not wait, give a hug and tell someone you love them today.
Treat others the way you want to be treated: One of my college professor said that once as he was talking to students and it has stayed in my mind and my goal since that day. I like to think I am treating others like how I want to be treated and that makes me more humble and compassionate even when I am not in agreement with the person.
Do not chase success: While success can mean different to different people, often time success is associated with how much money someone is making or has made. I was one of these person who chased success and it was not easy. Now I try to teach kindergarten and cook in my kitchen, watch movies to have simple joy in my life. While, I am not saying I am successful or happy always but the pressure and stress is lot less right now.

101 Changes: Change 12- How To Find What Is Most Important Thing For You?

by ZenGirl // February 25, 2012 // Comments off

Source: http://bigcove.org

I am writing a series of 101 small changes that we can make to make the quality of our life better and build and lead a more happier life that is in tune with our heart and mind. These are small changes that I have made and am working on right now, so I know they are possible for anyone to do.

If you have not read previous posts, check out a few posts on the changes from the past:

101 changes: Change 11- How to find your artistic or creative side

101 changes series:

Most Important Thing

Do you know the most important thing in your life? I thought I did. I always knew that being financial independent, healthy, and having a love and care from my family and friends was the best thing for anyone. I have written about finding core values before, and I am aware that many of us get often overwhelm with life’s chore and things we all must do that leaves little time for anything else.

Only thing was that I was not really following my own personal values. I thought I was doing okay and living the best life until recently. Often time we are too busy, or spend time in “perceived” important things that we may lose sight of what is truly important things in our life and how to make time for those most important things.

A good old and “Tell like It is” friend told me, that I was so engrossed in my writing projects lately to ignore family and friends.
I saw an accident where some stranger lost his life in blink of an eye. Life is too short.

These two events shook me up and made re-look at my priorities again to see truly what is important to me and I wanted to share.

While being financial independent is important to me, I want to make sure I have time for my loved ones and make money without losing my morals and ethics.

How to Make Sure You are Living the Best Life You can Live?

Many of us have many passions and hobbies. Many times we do things because we like it, other times, we do things because we have to; such as working at a job we do not like, so that we can pay bills. There are other things that we must do have no choice such as doing dishes, waking up at middle of night for sick child or sick friend and so on.

While both might be somewhat uncomfortable, second one has more value as it is about people you care about. Yet, many of us will say money is not important and it will not bring long term happiness yet we do things for these job or making money which is not aligned with our own personal core values.

Before we can get anywhere, we must look at within ourselves to see what ticks us, what makes us happy and what are our core personal values are. Once we understand that living and making living choices becomes much easier.

A while ago, I had gone through this exercise but it is important to follow up and see if they still hold true.

How to find out your True Personal Value?

While our priorities may change with time, our inner core personal values generally tend to stay constant. The best way I have found to find a personal core value is through following steps;

Step 1: Look through list of Values you think that describes you. If you need help with list of Values, here are some example.

Accomplishment
Success
Accountability
Adventure
Peace
Beauty
Commitment
Community
Connection
Improvement
Creativity
Decisiveness
Democracy
Justice
Peace
Happiness
Faithfulness
Equality
Diversity
Compassion
Family
Freedom
Friends
Financial
Honesty
Independent
Leadership
Loyalty
Love
Knowledge
Money
Personal Growth
Wealth
Resourceful
Respect
Quality
Security
Status
Trust
Wisdom
Unity
Legacy

There are more choices of personal values, if you need more personal value suggestions, but I have found this to be top best choices that work with most of the people.

Step 2: Pick 10 Values that you think describes you well. This step is longest as it requires deep thinking from within. Take your time, there is no rush.

Step 3: Once you have narrowed it down to 10 values, select top 5 values. Why? Because it is easier to go from 10 to 5 choices compared to many to 5 choices. Once you have these 5 values, that is what your values are.

Step4: Before making any decision, on a new job or new change of any sort, go through your top 5 values to see if that aligns with your core values.

Try not to do things that are not in your core values, even if monetary rewards are high. Why? Have you seen some people they have money and things that money can buy but they do not seem to enjoy it and seem unhappy? I am guessing, it is most likely because of inner core value conflict.

Just imagine living the best life you can be, when you are living conscious, value driven life and career that is meaningful to your own personal values!

Also see:

How to find personal Value : Part 1

How to find personal value : Part 2

101 changes: change 13: Reduce eating fast food and eat healthy

Zengirl

10 Mood Lifting Quotes About Love

by ZenGirl // February 18, 2012 // Comments off

Source: linkstolove.com

Love makes everything better. If you think that is cliche, think of all the people who did not get love from family, others they tend to become trouble maker or may find distrust in people. all of us want to love and be loved by others. Love is universal, it does not need a language, religion or race to make it understand and feel. Love is felt, love is experience, love is hard to explain in a words but here are a few quotes that will simply does that. Love can be from spouse, mother, father, friend, siblings, it does not have be romantic kind, as there are many type of love relationship, many of them are non sexual. Getting love from parents when you are young is is important for first 5 years of child’s life as shown by many child experts, it makes them grow up to be a better human being according to them.

There are many great love quotes about funny love, cute love and heart break. Here are 10 love quotes to make you listen to your heart for once and forget mind.

10 Love Quotes For you!

10. “To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.”- Lao Tzu

9. “The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.” – Peter S. Buck

8. “With love and patience, nothing is impossible”- Daisaku Ikeda

7. “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.” -Helen Keller

6. “If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever.” -Alfred Lord Tennyson

5. “Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition.”
-Alexander Smith

4. “If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don’t have it, no matter what else there is, it’s not enough.” -Ann Landers

3. “You know you’re in love when you don’t want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” -Dr. Seuss

2. “I love you, not only for what you are, But for what I am when I am with you.” -Roy Croft

My favorite and #1 quote for love is;

“People were created to be loved;

Things were created to be used;

The reason why world seems to be in CHAOS,

is because things are being loved;

and people are being used.”

I am not sure who the original author of above quote is, but it is so profound. No wonder the modern world, we feel something is not right, and now we can pinpoint the reason and fix it in our life.

Feel Love, Listen to your heart. Heart has never steered anyone wrong, listening to mind over your heart may keep you maybe rich or popular but rarely happy. Find a balance that your heart and mind wants it together! Finding harmony in life is always a best route.

Healing Tree: Page For You

by ZenGirl // January 23, 2012 // Comments off

As a blogger, I get to write and be on my “soap box” any time, here is a chance for all my readers to have place shine, place to heal, share prayer, a message, anything as long as it is not spammy. I am not on any social media, so this is my way of connecting with my readers. You do not need be a blogger to write there, you can be yourself at Healing Tree and share about you, yourself there.

Why Healing Tree?

Tree of Life has been played important part in mythology, some religion and culture aspects. Trees symbolize different outlooks and parts of life. Human beings, observing the growth and death of trees, the elasticity of their branches, the sensitivity and the annual decay and revival of their foliage, see them as powerful symbols of growth, decay and resurrection. Trees have been known to give people shade from heat, wood for building fire, or making houses and furniture. Trees also give flowers, fruits and has medicinal property which is used in Aryuveda, alternative and many modern medicine has basic roots from Trees and plants.

Healing Tree: How Indian Trees Help with Modern Medicine

According to wikipedia, trees have played important role in religion and places like, Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity, Druidism, Paganism Burma, Africa, Europe and Germany. There is also mythical stories about trees, such as Tales of Two Brothers, from ancient Egypt.

Apple tree symbolism- magic, youth, beauty, happiness
Ash tree symbolism – sacrifice, sensitivity and higher awareness
Aspen tree symbolism- determination, overcoming fears and doubts
Beech tree symbolism- tolerance, past knowledge, softens over criticism
Birch tree symbolism- new beginnings, cleansing of past, vision quests
Cedar tree symbolism- healing, cleansing, protection
Cherry tree symbolism – death and rebirth, new awakenings
Cypress tree symbolism – understanding the role of sacrifice
Elder tree symbolism- birth and death, fairy realm
Elm tree symbolism- strength of will, intuition
Hazel tree symbolism- hidden wisdom, dousing, divination
Heather tree symbolism- healing from within, immortality, initiation
Holly tree symbolism- protection, overcoming of anger, spiritual warrior
Maple tree symbolism- balance, promise, practicality
Palm tree symbolism- peace and opportunity
Pine tree symbolism – creativity, life, longevity, immortality
Willow tree symbolism- magic, healing, inner vision, dreams

The Healing Tree – Relaxing Piano Music

We as human go through many development and setbacks in life, in my mind healing tree page is supposed to be helping us heal from our hurt, our struggles and overcome obstacles to lead a happier and much peaceful life, hopefully. It will be a place to share our healing, prayers, your site, and about you. Hope you can come and join there.

Please visit and make your wishes known: Healing Tree

Image source: livingmemorialproject

12 Ways for Random Act Of Kindness

by ZenGirl // December 12, 2011 // Comments off

Here are 12 ways of Random Act Of Kindness and Christmas Kindness tips to make you and others life around you little bit sweeter in busy, chaotic December! These are simple ways to cheer someone up and it will not cost you much, but bring you so much inner joy. Random act of kindness works Try it and see it yourself.

12 Ways To Make Someone’s Day: Random Act of Kindness

Smile and say cheery hello to strangers.
Ask and offer help to a parent of crying child
Let someone in line before you.
Pay toll for car behind you.
Buy someone in need a hot meal or make one at home for them
Pick up trash and throw in trash bin
Give warm blankets or extra coat to someone in need (specially people who are homeless or less fortunate)
Say Thank you.
Babysit for busy parent
Sing a happy tune or song just because(even if you think you can not sing)
Give a hug ( Jadoo’s Jhappi in Hindi Language)
Give or read a inspirational book to someone

Bonus: This is from Valishali from HolyCowVegan.net: If you have blankets or towels to give away, please consider donating them to your local animal shelter. The dogs and cats need them!

I want to share a small video of Jadoo is Jhappi from a Hindi Movie called Munnabhai MBBS. It is a story of guy called Murli Prasad Sharma also known as Munna bhai who is local don wanting to be a doctor. He believes in Jadoo’s Jhappi or magical hugs to bring happiness in his own way. This this short scene, he is at the hospital where he is studying to be doctor with another lady doctor and there is old cleaning person/janitor who is visibly upset from years of tough work and no appreciation. Munna bhai makes him better with his simple appreciation and his Jadoo ki Jhappi.

It is about 1.34 minute long and has english subtitle of those who do not know Hindi.

Jadoo ki Jhappi =Heartfelt Hug Video

How are you making someone’s day today?

Zengirl

Image Source: Jochoo

How to Create A Life That Does Not To Escape From: Part 2

by ZenGirl // June 22, 2011 // Comments off

I recently wrote about creating a life that does not an escape from: Part 1, this is second part of the series to focus on life that really happy and does not need running away from.As I am trying to find my passion, compassion and reason for my being on earth. I want to be happy, make other around me happy too. I know being “always” happy is not possible and that is okay too. However, we can create a life that simply blissful in a way, that it feels like a vacation at home.

Why do I compare this life with vacation? It is because during my past vacations, I have found that I really enjoyed and I was stress-free in day or so in to vacation. I read books, I just simply relaxed at the beach, watching the waves and sunset. Sometimes I enjoyed eating new food, new culture (even within same country), new people and how they lived, made my life bit bright when I came back to home. I seemed ready to tackle, reality such as bills, dishes, chores and work as usual to get me going until next vacation. I am sure it is same for many of you.

Worker Mentality:

We in America, do not get much vacation compared to our European and Asian friends. When I was working in tech corporate world, my co-workers in Sweden and UK got 4 weeks, or 6 weeks vacation per year, even when they had less years of work experience. My other colleagues in India and other Asian had 6 days work days with 6th 1/2 day work and many holidays to give them flexibility in work environment. It has been proven in test experience that people are generally more productive when they worked 6 hours work day, instead of 8 or 12 hours as some people do. I am surprise that we are not following more productive way of working here in US.

I left my 6 figure job years ago when I became pregnant as I wanted to be home with my child during first months. However, it changed slowly when R was born, I enjoyed being around him and at relative stress-free corporate issues that I decided to be stay at home mom and gave up money and luxury to be at home and simplified my life.

Yes, I occasionally miss social aspect of job, such as meeting friends, going for lunches and travel around the world but quality that comes from being home is far better in my mind. Now that does not mean, life is with 2 young kid is easy, far from it. But that is something I truly want to spend and devote my time to as I practice what I preach about family being the most important thing in our life.

Additional Ways to Create a Life that Does not Need an Escape.

In my previous post, I mentioned 5 tips;

Find your passion, Do something you Enjoy
Reduce Your Needs and Wants
Find Compassion
Let Go of things you can not control
Stop comparing with others

I wanted to share a few more additional tips that will surely help in better life for us;

6. Be Thankful

I have seen some people, no matter how much they have, or what they get, they always think “but..”. That type of thinking keeps them from living truly blissful life. Be thankful for what you have, not for what you did not get.

I share a small story here to convey this point;

Once there was a man who had 1000 Rupees (Indian Currency), and he was sad but he did not have 1500 Rupees like his next door neighbor. One day thief came at night and stole all his money, including his neighbor money too, now he became even more sadder. He stopped talking to his wife and kids and wallowed in his sorrow.

A few days later thief was apprehended and money was recovered and given back to their original owners. The man was so happy to get back his money, he simply jumped with joy and became loving husband and father as he was long ago. His wife asked then, you had same 1000 rupees 2 days ago but you were unhappy and now you seemed to be happiest with same amount of money? Because of the change in situation, the man learned to appreciate what he had lost and realized his mistake.

The moral of story if, what if you lost everything and got it back, you will be thankful, so why not start now, before you lost it?

Gratitude is very powerful when given from heart. Do not wait for special day, be thankful. Be thankful to your spouse who gave you some time to be alone to finish up a book or write a blog post (Thanks Zenguy!), Be thankful to your kids who try to do silly things to cheer you up (Thanks R and P! ) and everyone else who made you life little better, even people you may not know.

Read: Count Your Blessings: The Healing Power of Gratitude and Love

7. Make Time for Friends and Family

Sometimes just call up your mom just to say “thank you for taking care of me, when I was growing up” for no reason. Hug your child when he spills milk and you have to clean up.

Call your high school or college friend who you have not talked to for long time, not because you need anything from him or her, but just to see how they are doing. When someone is sick, take time to bring soup, take them to doctor (if needed) or just call to see if they need anything.

When you make time for your friends and relatives, it will make you feel good inside and you will cheer someone’s day as well.

Read: Families & Time: Keeping Pace in a Hurried Culture (Understanding Families series)

8. Leave Expectation Behind

Expectation leads to disappointment. My wise Brother Y, used to say and he is so right. When you do something for someone, many of us expect some type of return help and that type of expectation always leads to regret and disappointment.

I remember Once I gave something pricey (that I would not spend for myself) but I did that for that person because I wanted that person to feel good. While the recipient was happy to get that gift, eventually that person gave that gift to someone else and I was so hurt inside and remained that way for months. The person obviously had not clue to hurt caused by it and I am sure it was not personal but I took it very personally. Since then, I have learned when I give away something, it is no longer mine and I do not expect anything in return (I am mostly successful in doing this).

Do things for others and yourself, because you want to, not because you will gain or get something back. I write many things here from my heart and hopefully it is inspirational for you all. I do it because I enjoy it, and I write when I have time and something worthwhile to say.

9. Listen to Your Gut Feeling

In modern times, we humans have stopped listening to our gut feeling or doing less so. I think it is natural, giving we have too many distractions and issues in our daily life. I have done that myself and listen to media, experts or sometimes even well meaning but clueless friends and results have not been the best.

Take time to listen to your own gut feelings and follow it what it says. When R was infant, I was told by many that he is breastfeeding too much and I should wean him and give him formula. I had hired lactation consultant who also eventually gave up after 3 meeting at home. I almost listened to everyone and almost weaned him, but I am glad now I followed my gut feelings and followed what I thought was right. I breastfed until it was comfortable for both of us and he had since weaned long ago and seemed to be content child. Follow your own instinct in your life, no one knows you more than your self.

Read: Gut Feelings: The Intelligence of the Unconscious

10. Be Close with Nature.

Native American Tribes and olden Mayan culture and other Asian culture was close to nature, that included trees, animals and birds. People seemed to be in tune with nature, they knew how to live in nature with harmony. We in modern world seemed to have somehow lost that trait, myself included.

While, living in woods like Henry David Thoreau and it is not possible of many of us, we can live in city and still be one with nature. Be kind to birds and animals around us. If you have pets, be kind to them, go out in walk with your pets, play with them. Give bird seeds and water to visiting birds in your back yard or even at small apartment complex.

Go out in walk in Sunlight, go camping traditionally without TV, learn how birds and animal live in nature without disturbing or hurting their habitat. We can learn a lot from nature. Spend at least 15 minutes a day in nature if not more.

Read: Keeping a Nature Journal: Discover a Whole New Way of Seeing the World Around You

What do you do to Create a Blissful life for you?

How To Create A Life That Does Not Need To Escape From: Part 1

by ZenGirl // June 13, 2011 // Comments off

Image Source: elizabethmchristian.blogspot.com

Endless Vacation? Life that does not need an escape is possible or just a dream?

Many of us are living stressed and chaotic life that we look forward to one day retire and enjoy the fruit of our hard work. We look forward to going on vacation. Many of us dread Sunday evening or Monday Morning, when another work day starts.

Would you like to escape this and enjoy endless vacation? Who would not, and even though it may seem impossible, it is not hard to create a life that does not need an escape from. We can start living the life right now with little planning and habit changes. Once we are aware of life purpose, life becomes lot easier to live.

Just like when we want to lose weight, we go on diet. We lose weight and get back to regular way of eating to find we are gaining weight again. We do not need diet plans, what we need is lifestyle change of eating healthy most of time with indulging in our cravings once in awhile. The same way works for life and endless vacation, we need to make life style changes. It is not an instant change, it takes some time and effort to make these habit changes but it works. I am working on it myself for sometimes and I am making a big progress towards it and life sure feels much simpler and peaceful.

5 simple steps to Start Living Life that Does not need an Escape from.

1. Do Something You Love and Enjoy.

If you ask people, if they enjoy their work and many will answer “It pays the bills”. That is sure way to kill passion. While it is not easy to start making money from what you love, (I am prime example, I have made $14 in 2 years here but I sure enjoy writing and sharing my journey here). Do something you love even when you do not get paid is ultimate feeling, while we need to make enough money to survive and meet out basic needs. We can do something we like while we are working in dreadful job situation or looking for a job in tough economy, such as volunteering, painting, singing, dancing, reading, teaching or helping others in something you already know.

2. Reduce and simplify Wants

If you really want to do something you love and make living, it can be tough at the start because of the money needed to pay bills and keep the life living standards one maybe used to living. However, if we reduce our wants to basic needs and some more, it is possible to live off in less income or money. No, I am not talking about being or feeling deprived, that will simply not work.

We all need simple basic needs such;

Shelter: A place to live, place to call home. It does not need to be large. One does not have to have 3000 square foot house with swimming pool to be happy, we all can live in lot less space and still have plenty privacy. Many people in other countries and some minimalist in USA are living in 500 square foot living space and functioning well.

See Thoreau’s cabin redux: tiny homes and happiness

Clean Water: We all need clean water to drink everyday. We are far more luckier then many people in world, who gets clean tap water in US. There are lot of filtration tools to filter the water you get in your tap. One does not need fancy bottle water, soda or sugar laden juices to live. Actually just drinking plain clean water will help with health benefits and giving uo soda and juices may make you lose some weight in return.

Food: We all need food to survive and live. Most healthiest food is vegetables and fruits which can be eaten raw or cooked simply at home in short time. One does not need fancy or expensive gourmet wine or cheeses to live, it would be wonderful occasionally but everyday simple meals will do your more good. Eating out everyday is expensive and unhealthy. I love cooking simple meals at home that can be cooked in 30 minutes or sometimes I like to use pressure cooker to cook up beans and lentils to make yummy and healthy soups or daals. It is a win-win for money and our waist line.

Clothing: Clothing is essential part of human lives, we need warm clothes in winter and simple cotton clothes in hot summer. One can buy good quality clothes at various stores, garage sale and goodwill stores. Designer clothing or brand names are not needed to look stylish, or you can find brand names clothes in thrift shop or outlet store for much cheaper price. If you can sew or mend clothing that is an extra bonus. I simply am not good at sewing and I have bought a sewing machine to improve my non-existing domestic sewing skills someday.

Entertainment: We human being like to entertained and get entertained as well. There are many free or cheap ways to go about amusing ourselves. One can rent movies or borrow movies from library instead of watching it in theater. If you must have a theater experience, you can see in morning time to get some discount. In summer time, there are many programs are offered free such as movie nights, music concerts, festivals, garden tours, theater previews shows and so on. If you like to read books as I do, you can always borrow from library and buy it only if you love it. Going to park, playing board games such as monopoly is not only entertaining but also educational. You can host a pot luck at home, instead of going out in restaurants. I used to love hosting movie and dinner nights at home before we had kids.

3. Be Compassionate

You may think what being compassionate has to do with life that does not need an escape from, but it has lot to do with it. When we are kind and compassionate towards other human being, other lives, it gives us inner happiness or content glow that comes only when we are truly enjoying the life. When we harbor hurt, anger and hate inside, we will be unhappy even in most lavish resort. While giving up all hurt is not easy, but we can surely try to reduce as much as we can and be kind to others and ourselves everyday.

4. Letting Go

Many of our misery and disappointment comes from unmet expectation from others. While, we have most expectations from our loved ones, they tend to hurt us or disappoint us the most. The best way to tackle this is to have no expectation or little expectation from others. It just leads to nowhere. Many of us, tend to do and behave on what works best for us, so let them. Someone does not owe us happiness, love, gifts or gratitude. One of the most thing I have hard time letting go is rudeness and thoughtlessness that people show but I am working on it. No one owes me gratitude or thoughtfulness. We should do things because it pleases us and not for others.

5. Do not compare

When I was growing up, I thought I had everything and did not miss anything because as a young child I did not used to compare my things with others. However, it changes when I was in high school and it lead to myself feeling bad even though I had more than before.

Comparing kids behavior, spousal behavior and even worse fictional book or movie characters with someone you love, will only end up in disappointment. When R was young, he did not slept through the night like kids in movie where they sleep by themselves in a crib, I was sleep deprived and sad until I realized movie scenes where infant sleeps by themselves are fiction or at least very rare.

I love Austen and romance novels of past, so naturally I love Mr. Darcy and Captain Wentworth and Mr. Thronton but comparing them with Zenguy is futile thing to do but I have done it in past. I have come to realize that why to compare when I am myself not like Elizabeth Bennet, Anne Elliot or Ms. Hale, these are fictional characters.

There are always someone who will be more beautiful, handsome, richer, smarter and fitter then us and then there will be a few who are not. Why compare? Just compare yourself with yourself of past and make a better future yourself for tomorrow.

Summary:

While we can not always choose many aspects of life, we can choose our habits to make simple and small changes such as above to create a lifestyle that will be like a vacation like while living at home. So go ahead and start creating a life that does not need an escape from today.

Check out 2nd Part of the series: Creating a life that does need an escape: Part 2