Relationships

love, marriage,parenting,kids,friends,relatives

Kids Say Funniest Things: 4

by // // Comments off

had started a Kids Talk series in early days of Happy Heart and Mind blog but did not get much chance to post occasional silly and funny story until now. R likes funny and silly stuff like many young kidsand he actually quite funny on several occasions without trying that cracks us up. Humor is important part of life and much needed in our otherwise stressed life.

If you have your own kids or nieces and nephews you will know what I am talking about that kids can say cutest and funniest things and even if you do not have kids, I hope you can still appreciate kiddish humor in your life. Read on, hopefully it will make you chuckle a little.

Check out my Previous Posts on the subject:

Kids says funniest things :1

Kids says funniest things: 2 .

Kids says Funniest Things: 3

———————————————————————————————————————————————

I have 2 little boys, who keeps me not only very busy to do many things, they are also my source of learning, amazement and smiles when I am least expecting it. I have written my and my kids personal funniest moment, which I am sure many of you have funny as well. Here are a few funny sayings that really happened;

Got Cold?

R got his first cold of the season this year! He was coughing and sneezing and it was hard for me to see him like that. Then he saw his dad and I concerned, so he says I am too young for coffeeing but not too old for coughing!  It took me sometime before I got it 🙂

How old are you?

Little P is now talking many things and learning a lot. So, I decided to wear my teacher hat and started to teach him about his name, his brother name and so on and then I taught him, when someone asks; “How old are you? You say I am two years old”. After practicing it all, I tried to show off his new knowledge to Zenguy when he came from office.

I as a parent should have known not to make a fool of myself, as child have capability to do amazing thing with you, when you are alone, but you try to show or share to others, your child acts like he does not know what are you talking about. Little P did better than that though.

So, when asked “How old are you?”  He said ” I am TOO old” 🙂 (instead of two years old)

Some Funny Pictures of Kids

Looking for decent images of funny kids over the internet is lot tougher compared to what I thought. I found many images, but most of them were crude, and some of them were offensive. I was however able to find a few decent, clean and cute images to share. Hope you enjoy it. Source of images are shown right below the image.

Spider Boy!

http://www.v4venkat.blogspot.com

 

Copy and Paste 

source: funnypix

 

Comfortable, are you?

1000funfacts.com

Too Fast?

skippymaximus.blogspot.com

 

I have been cloned!

partyandbs.de

 

No Chairs, No Problem

http://www.picturesdepot.com/

Kids are funny, even when they are not trying to be one. If you just listen to them and open up a world of constant wonder. Enjoy!

Zengirl

 

Famous People Who Were Adopted (Some May Surprise You)

by // // Comments off

Recently I was thinking about how some people come over the harsh life to achieve success and are famous, while some people may fail despite having a good life so I started searching and I was amazed to find a few famous people some I know and others who I never knew who were adopted till now .

Being adopted by strangers, grandparents or even relatives at young age could be traumatic and they have to go through big adjustment in life. There are a few success cases where adopted kids have achieved success and fame after going through adoption in their life. Some have rough childhood and others seem to find caring family, despite the odds, these people have worked hard to achieve success in their life.

In case anyone ever wondered whether adopted children could achieve the same success as a biological child, then the list that follows will prove to be quite an eye-opener.

1. Steve Jobs (Former Apple CEO)

Steve Jobs is in news recently due to his resigning from Apple, I am assuming to take care of his health. As I was reading about him, I was surprised to find that he was born to two graduate students (Syrian and American) and was adopted by Paul and Clara Job as an Infant in 1955. Steve Jobs, biological parents eventually married and had a daughter who became novelist. Steve Job’s has biological sister and another sister who was also adopted.

Steve Jobs Worked at Atari before founding Apple with Steve Steve Wozniak and Ronald Wayne in 1976. He is also involved in NeXT computer (which become first server for World Wide Web), Disney and Also Pixar as well.

(Edit to add) Steve Job died on Oct 5th, 2011 at age of 56, he left a legacy: Check out 9 Things you did not know about Steve Job from Yahoo News. There is also new bestselling autobiography on Steve Jobs that shares more about his life.

2. Doctor Ruth (Sex Therapist, Radio Host)

Everyone knows famous Sex Therapist Doctor Ruth, she was born in 1928 as Karola Ruth Siegel in Frankfurt, Germany. When she was 10, she was put on train by her mother and grandmother to possible avoid nazis.  Her mother told her that she is going to school, but reality, they sent her to orphanage where little Ruth stayed for years. While she was never truly adopted, but she was in various foster home and later she found ways to become successful sniper in Israel army and later had successful career as sex therapist on Radio. At 4 feet and 7 inches, she has achieved great height other field.

3. Bill Clinton (Former US President)

Bill Clinton was born to Virgina Cassidy in Arkansas, his father was traveling salesman who died in auto accident before Bill was born. Virgina left Bill to her parents while she went to school for Nursing Degree. When she came back and married Roger Clinton and Roger Clinton adopted Bill. Bill also had step brother Roger Clinton Jr. His step father was an alcoholic and abusive to him, his step brother and his mother, bill tried to protect his mother and brother often time.

Bill showed talent in music (specially saxophone), painting and singing. He wrote later in his auto biography called “My Life“;

“Sometime in my sixteenth year, I decided I wanted to be in public life as an elected official. I loved music and thought I could be very good, but I knew I would never be John Coltrane or Stan Getz. I was interested in medicine and thought I could be a fine doctor, but I knew I would never be Michael DeBakey. But I knew I could be great in public service.”

Bill married Hillary and he was 42nd US president from 1993 to 2001.

4. Larry Ellison (Oracle CEO)

Larry was born in Bronx to a 19 year old, unmarried Florance Spellman. Larry’s biological father was US air Force Pilot. When Larry was 9 month old, his mother realized that she could not properly take care of him, hence asked her uncle and aunt from Chicago to adopt Larry. So Louie and Lilian Spellman adopted Larry when he was 9 months old. Larry Ellison did not meet his biological mother until he was 48 years old.

While Larry has married and divorced 4 times, in career wise he has found a Success as a CEO of Oracle Corporation.

5. Malcom X (Civil Rights Leader)

Malcom X was born Malcom Little in 1925 to Earl and Louise Little. He was fourth child to total of 7 children. His father who was Christian Minister, was killed when Malcom was barely 6 years old. After his father’s death, his mother had nervous breakdown and was admitted to a mental institute. Malcom and his siblings went to an orphanage and later on various foster homes. His and his brother’s childhood was anything but normal, still he would become the biggest legend in Civil right era and Nation of Islam. One can learn more about Malcom X from his auto Biography.

6. Dave Thomas (Founder Of Wendy)

Dave Thomas was born in 1932 to young, unmarried teen whom he never really knew. He was adopted at 6 weeks of age by Rex Thomas and his wife. His adopted mother died when Dave was 5 years old, and his adopter father went traveling looking for job, he lived with Minnie, his grandmother after adoption. He credits her for teaching him about treating other well with respect.

He was in US army and worked in KFC before opening his successful franchise Wendy, named after his daughter Melinda. He had dropped out of high school until later where he got his GED to encourage teens to not drop out of high school. He died after battling cancer for many years, at the time there were 6000 Wendy’s restaurants in the country.

7. Nelson Mandela (Activist and Former Africa President)

Nelson Mandela belongs to a  the Thembu dynasty, which reigns in the Transkei region of South Africa and was born in Mvezo, a small village. Mandela’s father had four wives, with whom he fathered thirteen children (four boys and nine girls). Mandela was born to his third wife, Nosekeni Fanny. When Nelson Mandela was about 9 years old, his father died due to tuberculosis, Thembu chief Jongintaba became his guardian and informal adoptive father.

Mandela was initially was influenced by M. K. Gandhi’s non-violence stance (from 1948-1961) before committing to armed anti-apartheid activities in 1961. He was arrested, jailed and eventually released and pardoned in 1990. Nelson Mandela become oldest President of Africa at age of 75 in 1994 and retired in 1999. One can learn more about him from his book called Conversation with Myself.

8. John Lennon (Singer, Musician)

John Lennon was born in 1940 to Julia and Alfred Lennon. Alfred was always traveling to sea as traveling merchant and was hardly there when John was there. John had turbulent childhood where he was asked to choose to live between his father and mother at age 5. He grew up with his aunt and uncle (Julia’s older sister) who did not have kids of their own. He was known as trouble maker in school and college. Later on he created a Quarryman band which evolved in to successful Beatles group. Later he had success as a solo artist before his early death by Gun shot.

9. Edgar Allen Poe (Poet, Writer)

Edgar was born in 1809 to actor parents, he had an older brother and younger sister. When he was about one year old, his father abandon the family and year later his mother died due to sickness. Edgar and his siblings were left orphaned. Edgar was taken as a foster child by James Allen, a rich merchant. James Allen was strict with Edgar and eventually they parted later in life.

When Edgar did not have enough money, he left his education and joined to army. He started publishing his poems and writeup slowly and eventually first poet ever to make living by writing according to some expert. Edgar married twice and once to his 13 years old cousin. He died in mysterious circumstances when was 40. His influence in poetry, literature, cryptology is still felt in United States and around the world. You can see his vast poems and writing in his complete collection of Edgar Ellen Poe.

10. Leo Tolstoy (Writer)

Leo Tolstoy was born in 1852 in Yasnaya Polyana, Russia. He had 4 other siblings and his family was part of Russian Nobility. His parents died when he was young so him and his siblings were brought up by relatives. Leo was not studious and had left college in middle of his studies. After running up big gambling debt, he and his brother joined army to make some money. He started writing around that time, eventually writing many novels including classics War and Peace and Anna Karenina .

Other Famous Adopted People:

Other famous celebrities and successful people who were adopted or were part of foster care system are;

  • Marilyn Monroe (Actress),
  • John Washington Carver (Inventor),
  • Nat King Cole (Singer),
  • Tim McGraw and Faith Hill (Country Singer),
  • Tommy Davidson (Comedian),
  • Bo Diddly (Musician),
  • Gerald Ford (Former US President),
  • Melissa Gilbert (Actress),
  •  Scott Hamilton (Skater),
  • John Hancock (Politician),
  •  Debbie Harry (Singer, Blondie),
  • Jesse Jackson (Minister),
  • Lee Majors (Actor),
  • Nancy Regan (First Lady),
  • Elenore Roosevelt (First Lady) and many more.

If you like to find out more, read these books;

Relative Origins: Famous Foster and Adopted People

LifeBooks : Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child

Fame and success can be achieved by anyone, who works hard, has passion and bit of luck! All of these people can inspire us to be more.

Do you know someone who is successful despite having less resources?

7 Ways To Motivate Learning In A Child (or An Adult)

by // // Comments off

Education does not have be boring for anyone, otherwise learning does not happen!

All of us learn new things when we are having fun, and schooling is no different. Many Indian and other parents start teaching kids at home way before preschool age. When I teach or share knowledge with younger kids, they are like sponge, they absorb everything and naturally curious about things. Somehow many kids and adults lose that natural curiosity as we grow older and we focus on getting scores or passing instead of learning.

There is also another issue with education that, not all kids will fits in regular standard curriculum levels. For example, some kids may be reading at 3rd grade level and 2nd grade science level when she is in 1st grade. How do you go about teaching that child in regular system without her getting bored? Homeschooling or Independent studies might be one option to let a child learn at her or his level.

I do not write much about homeschooling here, but Patty and other readers comment encouraged me to write about various topics in my life here. Even if you do not homeschool your kids, or have kids yourself yet, this post might help you motivate any child or even yourself to learn new things and keep you motivated.

7 Ways to Motivate Learning:

Here are 7 ways I have found to motivate learning in a child (or an adult). These tips are written with homeschooling child in mind, but I am sure it will be applicable to public or private school going child as well. While, my experience is teaching younger kids, I hope these tips will work for teenager’s education as well.

1.  Do Not Compare:

Comparing your child with another child of same age might be tempting but it will not flourish the young mind. All kids and adults have unique talents and we all work at our own pace. It will not matter if 7 year friend’s child knows how to read piano music or 4 year old neighbor kids can ride bike without training wheel. Kids learn best when they are ready to learn. That is what Sadbury method or Jiddu Krishnamurthy methods have been working for many kids.

2. Competition Free Education:

We are always pitted against our peers to compete in many subjects since we are born. Schools and colleges are big examples for it with grades or being best student. There is no win win situation as there can be only ONE person who can be 1st, rest of kids may feel dejected. While healthy competition can bring out the best in some kids, in majority time, competition kills the enthusiasm, specially for someone who keeps being second best. Learning is a process and it should be treated as a result.

3.  Memorization is not Real Learning:

Many educational system may encourages memorization and while kids seems intelligent, most kids forget what they memorized during summer break. Any memorization without real understanding will not take deep root of understanding, and hence will not remember what they have learned tomorrow. I am one of these prime example of it as I do not recall what I have learned in my engineering classes but I do recall what I truly understood things and had interest in it. If you have passion for something, you will retain the knowledge much longer.

4. Rewards for Simple Tasks are not needed:

Our current educational system is quick to punish and quick to give rewards for small achievement. Many experts think they are actually hindering the learning process and I agree. Giving Physical reward is different then showing encouragement to a child. When a child is shown a reward of food or new toy, learning is not goal but finishing the task to get a reward becomes the main goal and learning stop. Our mind is like a parachute, it works only when it is open. Child should learn something because there is an interest in it, not because of the reward.

5. Do not blame child for failing:

When a child has failed in learning new concept or old one, do not blame him or her. Do not even blame system. Try to find out the root cause of the failed issue. You may want to step back and take a break or see it from new perspective. Sometimes, child may have certain way to learning style that may be different from teacher’s teaching style. We all learn different way such as some learn better by visually seeing, some learn best for listening the step by step process and some of us learn best by actually trying our hands on it. Find out your child’s learning style. There might be some other issues or simple things that may make understanding the subject easier. Before you blame anyone, try to find the main cause and fix it and love and joy of learning will be back in the child.

6. Learning does not have to be expensive:

Many Asian Indian and other education minded parents spend fortune on kid’s private school, software, special tutoring programs and books. One does not have to spend lot of money for learning to happen. There are lot of free to cheap resources such as public library, PBS station, a few online websites and daily living can be part of learning.

For example, young kids can be taught colors when you fold your laundry, you can point out colors. Teaching shapes is easy as our own home or apartment have furniture, door, clock in various shape. Talking to grandparents or neighbor can make kids and us learn things from different time. My kids learn old mythical stories from his grandparents. Learning can happen anywhere, anytime. It is not confined to school or 9-3 time. There are many ways to finance your education if you are homeschooling or supplementing public school education.

7. Non Traditional Ways of Teaching and Learning:

My mom was a teacher and writer so she taught us at home, when we came from school and learning happened without us knowing that it was education. Learning happens when are having fun. For example, if your young child loves only cars, how can you teach math, history and science with it? It is possible, and it is called Unit Studies. In Car unit studies, you can learn history by learning and reading about early transportation such as first car, you can add cars or take away cars game to teach math. You can teach colors by different colors of cars. Science can be taught by if metal cars sinks and plastic car sinks or not for younger children. For older children, one can learn how car engine works to teach science or technology.

If you or your older child likes Harry Potter then there are Unit studies ideas for that also, such as here.

Keep Learning! and Keep it Fun!

Your Turn: How do you keep yourself or your child motivated to learn new things?

Image Source: Parenting Magazine

No Spend Month -July 2011: Update 3

by // // Comments off

I am half way through the No Spend Month challenge and I could tell so far that is going to be much more challenging. We have lot of things going on, including guests, driving more and so on. But, since I took up the challenge, I am going to report and make a best out of it.

A Few Problems:

There were some unexpected expenses and unforeseen travel (driving) that occurred, so obviously there are some expenses that are out of ordinary. One of them was having my car smog that I had to get it done this month only and I had to find the cheapest place to get it done. While luckily, my van did not need any repair, smog test had to be done and paid for it.

Money We Spent This Week:

I also had some health issues and blood work done but medical expenses and educational expense are not part of $300 budget. I am seeing how easy it is to spend money vs. saving or making money.

Smog test: $50.20

Gas: 97.25 (we had to travel far distance due to visiting a sick friend, so we used up more gas)

Snacks and coffee: $15.73 (We usually carry snacks with us but while we were out we had to buy some hot snacks for kids and coffee for us in day outing)

Making total of $163.18 for this week.  Luckily, we did not had to buy groceries this week, as we are using up what we have in fridge and pantry so far. Soon, we will need to buy milk, yogurt and other perishable items coming week.

I have total spent $268.21 from July 1st-July 17th.  That only means that I have only $31.79 left for 2 weeks, which seems very tough to do but I am sure going to try to make it.

Possible Reasons: Justification for Myself:

There are a few things that are coming in obstacle for my well meaning no spend experience since last time.

  • I feel bit alone in this time around somehow.
  • Prices of food and gas have increased much more since last year.
  • I have been sick (feeling tired, dizzy and so on) to leave much energy to put on life as I did last year.
  • There are unexpected expenses as always beyond my control.
  • I am lacking motivation myself right now.
  • I have been saving money all my life, and when zenguy was without job for 22 months until recently, I did even more drastic savings to survive. I might be all frugaled out!
  • Kids are growing and keeping me busy to rest, and my health does not help. I am blogging, commenting less because of that and it has effect on my blog comments as well.

One of the big reason is I lack energy to keep struggling to save, to be better. I am tired as I have 2 busy little boys and I hardly get much time to do anything proper for me. Even though Zenguy has a project/job now, we are still feeling the effect of the no income for so long, we are still paying off late payments, installments now that I feel like, I am taking small buckets of water out of water of ocean, it seems futile.

Not Giving Up: Looking for Positives

I guess I need to read up a few of my own post on overwhelming and find my groove back. I think even if I do not make this challenge, I want to be honest with myself here and try making it without giving up. As giving up would be much easier right now but I am bit stubborn to choose path that is not the easiest.

Your Turn:

How about you? How are you doing on your financial goal regardless of no spend month challenge, we all have some money goals for kids, future right?

If you want to know more about No Spend month and how badly I am doing, check out past articles;

6 Surprising Ways to Boost Your Happiness

by // // Comments off

Image Source: http://pilitics.blog.com

Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.  ~Cynthia Nelms

Fact: We all want to be happy and live Happy Life

We all go through phases where we are happy and when we are sad. Most of the time, we get sad because our expectations did not match the reality of outcomes or somehow something felt short. While, some serious sadness that comes with uncontrollable circumstances, we can do a few simple and easy happiness booster, that will surprise you. Don’t believe me? Try it out for yourself.

Simple Happiness Boosters:

Here are few simple and easy way to change your mood. No, it will not cure your money problems, world peace or cure for cancer. However, still you will feel lot better and happier. I know because I have tried it out first before writing it here, and I am your average person just like you, who gets happy and sad in daily life.

1. Get Sunshine

I grew up part of my life in Seattle, so believe me I like cloudy and rainy weather. It makes me feel like breaking in song and dance routine like Gene Kelly in Singing in the Rain (even when I know I can not dance!).

University of Michigan apparently have done studies that proves that 30 minutes of sunshine and fresh air feel more upbeat to those who decides to be inside in nice weather. So, I shut off my internet and went out in my yard, only to know that California weather in middle of may is cold rightnow. However, fresh air, colorful roses and chirping birds around made me feel better already. I think when weather is sunny (not scorching hot) will give me exposure to Vitamin D as well along with fresh air. This one sure works.

I remember when R was infant, one time he decided to cry and test out his lungs and my hearing by crying out loud. No matter what I did, did not calm him. I decided to go out of blue and little sunshine and light intrigued him and he stopped crying to see what was around him. I used this trick with little P as well. Try it with your baby or yourself, sunshine makes you upbeat!

2. Take Shower or Bath

Now, most normal people take shower in morning before going to work or school. But when I had baby #1, R , I realized that he kept me so busy that I had to take shower in evening or sometimes next day. Since R is now in kindergarten it has gotten better, but in middle when P was born, I had 2 youngsters, so it became hard to take shower without kids knocking on door (even when Zenguy was around, kids simply loved me too much to go in to a shower alone, At least I am going to think that is the reason). So, if you have little kids or are creatively busy, you may forget to take shower like me once in awhile. (Don’t judge me because I am honest!) Even if you had a shower in the morning, still one again on hot days or days when you are simply feeling gloomy.

Just take shower with lukewarm water will refresh you and sometimes your sore muscles! Try it. Now I make effort to take shower twice, specially in summer. In Zenguy’s family (as many other Indian family) usually do not eat anything even breakfast tea until they take shower so it was surely new to him until we had kids and we were too sleep deprived function well without Chai.

3. Bring back Memories : Photo Albums, Old Journals

Many times we are so focused on tomorrow or future, we often forget how far along we came or remember good thing. There are times, I have heard my friend or relative would say “I never did XXXX”..and ” No one likes me…” and so on. If you look back on your own mind memories, or photo albums when you were kid or when you were in high school, you will realize, you had fun, friends and joy around you.

I look at my old journal sometimes to see what was bothering me once, no longer an issue in my current life or reading something fun about my life event such as birth of my kids, my first vacation with Zenguy after marriage and so on. It bring backs nice and happy memories, boosting my confidence and happiness level to next level. You should try it too and let me know how it goes for you.

4. Be around Happy People

Happiness is contagious and so is anger. People around us, effect our moods and our life. Medical imaging technology shows that our brain have certain cells that cause us to imitate those around us. So, be around happy people as much as you can.

Sometimes we may not have these choice as family around us might be sad or depressed so do not leave them to be with happy people. If that is situation for you, you be the change you wish to see, become a happy person. Fake it, if you do enough faking or pretending, soon you will be happy in reality!

Now, this is not something I invented, my favorite author Dale Carnegie have said in my favorite book: How to win friends. I used to be coach’s assistant during Business Team Building classes based on Dale Carnegie principals. I was first skeptical but since then I know pretending to be happy, made me eventual happy.

Zenguy is happiest person I know, he is always making other smile even when he has things to worry. I remember, all my friends and family loves spending time with him because he makes others around him happy and feel good about them. I was opposite, I was grouchy person, with all world’s problem on my shoulders, or so I thought. I have long way to still go but since then I am improving and smiling more, thanks to Zenguy, My kids and wonderful Dale Carnegie.

5. Bring out your Creative Genius from Inside.

I think all of us, creative genius or artist inside us, no matter what you say. Research studies have shown that people with violent past and trauma are told to express their anger and frustrations over creating art pieces and it has helped them heal their psychological wounds. Now, we do not have be traumatized to use creative outlet or be great artist.

Here are a few ways you can let your creative genius out, mostly for your eyes first then you can share it with others when you are ready;

  • Paint (oil painting, Water Colors or Charcoal sketch)
  • Write short stories : fiction or non-fictional
  • Write poems on your feelings
  • Visit museum and see other artists
  • Make art and craft design with kids or adults
  • Do origami art pieces, learn origami
  • Read inspiring quotes
  • Read motivational authors/books
  • Listen to Music, make music with pots and sticks

I do many of these activities and know it works. I do oil painting and sketching for myself. So far, I have given away my art pieces but not sold any. I like creating art, even though it might be best, it makes me control and convey my feelings in positive ways.

6. Eat Healthy Snacks.

This simple booster I learned from my kids. Whenever R was going through “terrible Twos”, I have learned a simple tip to make it in to “terrific twos”, that was to eat something healthy. Many time little kids and sometimes adults are in cranky mood because we might be lacking carbohydrates in our body. We can simply fix this by eating some fresh apple, or any other fruits or little nuts such as walnuts, pistachios on munching.

Many nuts have omega 3 fatty acids which according to some experts have same effect as anti-depressants (that too without any side effects to worry about). It also improves communication with brain cells that creates good mood in us according to Harvard hospital doctors.

I always carry, healthy snacks such as some nut bar, peanuts or fruits (sometimes junk snacks as well) and water bottle with us in my car so kids and I will not go hungry or cranky. Make sure to eat healthy snacks. Soda, candy bars and potato chips will help a little but it will be more unhealthy, eat those only occasionally. We have only one body this life and let’s take care of it.

Conclusion:

Will these tips cure all of our problems and worries? No, it will not as I mentioned before. These tips however, will surely boost our mood to tackle our life worries and enjoy life more with our selves, family, spouse and kids. Even if you are single, or married with kids, we all deserve to live happy life and here are a few ways that I have tried out successfully that I want to share with you all for Free.

Best things in life are free!

Enjoy and please share your simple happiness boosters that has worked with you here.

Zengirl

Moral Story: How To Fit Important Things First In Your Life

by // // Comments off

Life Vase with Family RocksImage Source: Flickr

I am bit overwhelmed as some of you right now. Little P (now 2 years old) has been getting molar tooth, so sleeping is on and off during night, sleep is scarce. R is in Kindergarten and has lot of curious questions. Between teaching, homeschooling, cooking, laundry, cleaning and entertaining kids is keeps me occupied to do much else. In addition, we are recovering from stomach bug that lasted for days, so life is busier than ever! The more I fight it, the more harder it becomes for me. I have become un-zengirl to need to reclaim my mental piece of mind again!

As I was sitting down to my mini meditation (that is all I have time for), I remember a story that one of my teacher shared when I was in school. Now, this story has been told by many and a few different way so you might have heard it somewhere. Here is what I remember, it may inspire you as it did to me just now! We all need moral and inspiring stories when chips are down.

How to Fit Important Things In Your Life:

One day Mr. Bharod Sir brought a large box filled with stuff as he wanted to share something. He was one of the best teacher that all of us liked. He always gave advise and suggestions with real life example which made sense to many of us!

Bharod sir took out, a large glass vase on the table. We all wondered what this was about and everyone tuned in to see what came next. He filled glass with large rocks from the cardboard box he was carrying. The 6 large rocks filled the vase., then he stopped and asked us;

“Do you think this vase is full?”

Some of us were confused as it might be a trick question but most answered”

“Yes!, of course it is full sir:”

He said “Are you sure about that?” and he proceeded to fill the vase with large rocks with smaller pebbles.  Of course, the pebbles went in corners and sides between the space between rocks and he was able to put quite some pebbles.

Then again he asked: “Is this vase full now?”

This time whole class was quite as it looked full but all of us knew, Bharod sir had something up his sleeves. So he waited for awhile and said ;

“Let’s see, if anything more will fit”.

He begin to pour sand on already full Vase with rocks and pebbles, and sure enough sand was able to fit in and it filled the vase. After no more sand could fit in, he asked again;

“Do you think this vase is full?”.

We did not think anything else would fit in the vase anymore so all of us said “Yes, the vase is now full!, nothing else can go in now”.

He smiled and said “Are you sure?”

Then in our surprise he took, the water bottle and started to pour in to a vase that has rocks, pebbles and sand already. Interesting enough, he was able to fit in whole bottle inside as sand and pebbles made room for water inside.

He then looked at all of us, and he said there was a reason he wanted to show us so we can learn moral from it, not only for the class and studying but also later in the life.

Bharod Sir said:

Vase represents our life where we try to fit thing in to live

Rocks represents our family, spouse, parents, kids, your health and so on.

Pebbles represents jobs, money, car, house and so on.

Sand represents everything extra such a nice perks, vacations and so on.

He said further as we were listening, “In your life, even if you have family and lost everything else, you life will be filled and everything else is small stuff, if you lose it you can replace it or find another. Be nice to your family including your parents, siblings, and  spouse and kids when you have them.

There always will be time to clean house, make money, or climb the ladder of success! Take care of your health and your loved one first that is more important.”

He went on to say: “If you would have tried to fill your life vase with career, car, money and other extra stuff first, you would not have been able to put large rocks representing your family. It will not fit in any other way than what I have just shown you. Eat Healthy, sleep well and love your family first.”

All of us were listening and being inspired by it. But one of my nosy and curious friend asked “what was the water you added represents?”

Bharod sir said: ” It just goes to show that no matter how busy your life is, take time to drink fresh water” 🙂

I had forgotten this story as this happened many years ago, but as I was thinking back on my life and people who have influence over my life, Bharod sir and his story came to me, just the right time. Although he was my Math and Physics teacher, he taught us much more about life and compassion. I had never seen him get upset or angry. He talked to all of us students, even some poorest ones to rich one in same caring manner.

There are some people who inspires us, even years after. I do not know where Bharod sir is right now, but my heart is thankful for him being my teacher to influence to me in positive side. I have since then heard other versions of the story, but by far my favorite is the one I first heard it from Bharod Sir and I hope you like it too.

Moral of the story:

  1. Take care of your health today, be kind to your self.
  2. Give your spouse back rub just because. Tell her/him you love them.
  3. Give your kids hugs, even if they are not sleeping through the night.
  4. Call your mother and say thank you. No need to wait for Mother’s day.
  5. You can clean house later
  6. You can blog later
  7. You can make money later on
  8. You can take vacation later when things are better
  9. Forgive yourself
  10. Do not try to find success, find family and love of family first!

Here to wishing happy family moments to all of you.

Check out other related articles:

Power of Gratitude can do wonder!

Are We Honest with Family and Friends?

10 Simple Things that make me happy!

Do you know your values? Part 1 and Part 2.

Zengirl

Is Both spouses working important in a family?

by // // Comments off

Both spouses working necessary or important?

Note: I generally write about one post a week and generally write long post, this post is over 1300 words, read it at your leisure and share your opinion on how you feel about it. Thanks.

In right now in down economy, many jobs are cut. A few people are still making good money but some are making less money doing same job. There are many stay at home moms and dads are like me who do not make any money.

Zenguy works as a consultant and he was unable to get any project for long time. I Stay home with my 2 kids, home school, teach at co-op as a volunteer. Our life is simplified enough that, we survived in little saving that we had. I have electrical engineering and marketing background and worked in corporate doing well while ago. I was talking to a relative and she said that made me think, basically she said I am wasting earned degree and money spent on education by not using it and doing things for free. If we both had a job, there will be always one income coming in. She in a way is right, and many times, I wish that I had an income/paying job. If I was working, we would not be in pressure when Zenguy did not have a project or contract for long time and we would be in better financial shape.

I thought of writing an analysis and Pros and Cons of both spouse working or not as it could help someone in similar situation to make a right choice for them. You will also see why my staying home is saving us more money, even if I was making 6 figure income right now too. Please read on, and make choice that works for you and your family. There are no right or wrong choices, we all do what works for us, this is simply my choice based on my experience.

Benefits of both spouses working

1. We still would have at least one income coming in for paying bills.

2. We would be all covered under my work insurance, saving us $710 month on medical premium and $6000 yearly deductibles.

3. We would be covered for dental and eye coverage through job and would not have to be without or pay from our pocket.

4. R would be able to go to best private Kindergarten and Little P ould have best care at home or day care with Nanny.

5. Zenguy would not have so much pressure to find a job and look for right one that feels right for him.

6. We would not be stressed (internally) about money as much.

7. I would get a social adult time outside, enjoying occasional work lunches, and conversation with other professional adults.

8. I will be using my electrical engineering and marketing classes: My education will be useful to earn and keep our lifestyle going.

9. I will be wear and buy new decent clothes from stores without guilt.

10. I may get professional hair cut or beauty care. (I am not usually in to these thing though)

11. I would be moving up in my career ladder.

12. Maybe I could help Zenguy and other friends/family with my professional contacts and job prospects.

13. We would be able to travel and take vacation, often as we used to.

14. We could eat out without being guilty.

15. We can attend parties, gathering without worrying about we can afford it.

16. We would be generous as we used to be with friends and family.

A Few Possible Issues with of both of us Working:

1. Since I would be working, kids would be in day care/preschool whole day. These are rough estimate cost for school and daycare in California. Cost for R’s Private Kindergarten : $850 (reasonably priced) plus afternoon daycare cost till 6pm $300-$500 : Total cost for R= $1150-$1350 per month. P’s cost for daycare since he is under 2 year and needs diaper changes/feeding: $1200-$2200 depending on care. Very expensive, most of my pay would go for kid’s care/school.

2. Since P sometimes gets (due to his lung issues) sick on and off, I would not be able to leave on day care (strict policy of all day care to avoid other kids getting sick) I would have to take off from work, if we both worked or Zenguy would have to do all caring for him, whole day while I am at work.

3. I may not be able to get time off whenever kids are sick, If I do, I might get laid off or create a tension at work.

4. We have to wake kids up at 6am to get ready and rushed to daycare/preschool by 8am and rush traffic to get to work. We have to pick up kids at 6pm or before, or getting extra charged for being late (unless situation is worked in it already), which creates extra stress.

5. If I am working or both of us working, we might have to do overtime without extra pay as it is expected and occasional weekend working too, leaving kids alone again? or finding a weekend care person.

6. We might be eating out or getting ready made food often , if I am working from 8-6PM everyday, not leaving me much time to cooking as often.

7. Kids will not be taken care of as well as myself by day care people, no matter how nice they are, as they may have 1 adult to 10 kids ratio (typical )

8. After extra tax, child care costs, car and extra gas costs, work clothing and other unforeseen work expenses will not much in my hands.

I used this calculator here Should your spouse work? and I assume I will make $5000/month salary (high amount), what would be take home income will be after all above expenses? it came out to be $286 per month. That is not much at all for all the efforts and stress that it will include. Check it out yourself with various pay and tax rates.

9. Sometimes at work, you would have to go out with co-workers or office parties, even when you brought your own lunch, adding to your lunch expenses.

10. You would have to pay some money every month towards some office party sometimes, such as birthdays, baby showers, outgoing employee, new employee and other outings parties.

11. You will be driving more, adding more cost to insurance, gas and wear and tear of your car.

12. Some of my mommy friends who work, they hire cleaning lady as they do not have time to clean house, adding more money. We usually do all cleaning work by ourselves right now.

13. Some of working mommies get cooking lady or food from outside, more often adding more expenses.

Why Staying home is Working for us:

Overall, in our case me working with 2 kids in not beneficial at all. I do help out our household income by;

1. Free child care

2. Free cleaning/cooking as I love to cook and like cleaner house

3. I have time for selling extra items from home

4. I can do more by saving money by living frugally

5. Saving on clothes/beauty care, gas, clothes prices, gifts for work expenses by being home

6. I can do still freelance writing, tutoring kids to make little income doing what I love.

7. I have sanity to wake up with kids and not be rushed, living life to smell the roses and not living fast life I used to live when I was working crazy hours.

8. Best part about this is, I get to choose what work I want to do regardless of earning anything, such as blogging. 🙂

In conclusion, we may not have income, but we do not have rush and stress ourselves for extra $286 month income for me. What do you think? $286 is good for groceries!

Check out Other Related Articles;

No spend month Challenge : I did a challenge to spend $300 per month only during July 2010, check it out.

Ways to Help Your Unemployed Friend or Family Member: This is very useful right now with down economy.

Surviving without money possible? An interesting case study of a person who is living without any money, impressive.

Creating a simplified Financial Plan: Simple plan to follow for all of us.

Story of Stuff: Do we really need all the stuff in life? We want it, need it? Most likely no.

Although finding a job for me after a few years break is also challenging, decisions decisions..sometimes it is not so easy choice. It was sure tough when we were both were not making money but we stuck it out and more surprising fact is that we survived for 22 months. Zenguy has a small project now and things seemed to be looking up.

Your turn: What works for you and how did you made a choice?

Photo Source: commonwealthfund.org

Humor: Kids say funniest things:3

by // // Comments off

I had started a Kids Talk series in early days of Happy Heart and Mind blog but did not get much chance to post occasional silly and funny story until now. R likes funny and silly stuff like many young kids and he actually quite funny on several occasions without trying that cracks us up. Humor is important part of life and much needed in our otherwise stressed life.

Continue reading →